I’m sorry…my name, ‘Keri’, means WHAT???

Recently I was chatting to some guys at work about the meaning of their kids’ names. It is a huge decision in any parents life, the name you give your little girl or boy.

I remember my mom and dad telling me about my name. My mom said that she had let my dad choose the name, and he chose Keri-Lee, he loved it, it meant ‘maiden of the sea’,and although he would rather be naming a a yacht Keri-lee, he would let me have it. Aah sweet.

I mean just look at them, Tony and Shay Miller. Look how happy they are… how harmless they look.

The Miller Parents

So carefree, so happy… with their normal names.

I lived the meaning of my name, learnt to swim before i could walk, swam competitively and was a lifeguard. And when I turned 18,I even got the inevitable tramp stamp. The ‘kanji’ symbol for ‘ocean’ on my lower back. ( I accept your judgment).

So back to the conversation at work. I’m at the computer, so we start googling the correct meanings of names, in all different cultures. Even though I knew what my name meant, obviously I was going to search mine too….

Search bar. Type: k e r i
Wikipedia pops up, I click….
Be prepared… What I read that day has haunted me consistently

Keri (קרי) is a Hebrew term which literally means “happenstance”, “frivolity” or “contrariness” and has come to mean “seminal emission”. The term is generally used in Jewish law to refer specifically to the regulations and rituals concerning the emission of semen, whether by nocturnal emission, or by sexual activity.



Semen? Seminal emission? Are you frikken kidding me?!
Firstly, my mother’s side of the family was Jewish which means, SOMEONE, purposefully, let the Hebrew translation slide, in some cruel mission to make my life one big ‘cum joke’.

And my father…. Cruel cruel man. Mr miller – obviously distracted by thoughts of yachts and 4 wheelers – wasn’t concentrating, and read ‘maiden of the sea’ when in fact it was quite clearly maiden of the sea-men!!!

I’m broken. And also rather surprised I haven’t turned out to be a middle class hooker. Yet.

Man juice Miller

by the way, NOW I understand this company’s use of the name for … hand cream.


14 comments on “I’m sorry…my name, ‘Keri’, means WHAT???

  1. LOL oh that’s so sad Keri, please do feel better. You even got a tattoo 😦 how could they lie to you like that?! -sending good vibes-

  2. OMGee I am traumatised too! Cant ever trust a man to make the right decision. Sorry Kez. Please dont wiki your siblings names!!!!!!!

  3. Well Keri! Look on the good side!! At least you are 100 percent organic and have a carbon footprint a-la-naturaal that many can only dream of… Without even trying!! And u are really such a spunky chick anyway!!! LOL!!!

  4. i luved ur name b4 i even knw wht it means nd i stil love it after, my mom named me koena which means crocodile dnt knw why, then nkgetheng which means choose me cause i was born when they were electing whoever he is nd i’m nt a polotic person though then the last one is francinah i dnt lyk this one nd i’m stuck with it cause they named me after my grandfather his name was france,this names gave me headache everyday of lyf, nd after reading ur article i’l stil by them nd tolerate them.

  5. Looks like fathers not should be involved when it comes to name daughters.. My fahter named me after the author of the book he was reading that day…. And here in Sweden Jessica was , at the late 60:s real exotic. We were 2 girls named at it for many years. Then at late 70:s a lot of kids got it:) So we don’t just read the same blog, we are both named by fathers:)

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